Happy Birthday Kefka.
Long overdue update, I know, STFU you clowns.
Normally, I'd rip into the black hole of sucktitude that is Kevin Beard but I gotta take some time out to give some props to the Gatsu (Guts, Gats) of the Internet : Mr. Kefka himself.
You see, much like our friend Ernie Cline, Kefka makes the internet : his bitch. Kefka speaks its language, hes like.. : Fuckin' Tron. Domo Arigato Mr Roboto, Manifest destiny. For without Kefka, the Airwolf that is Kevinbeardsucks.com could not be possible. (If you have a complaint about the new look of the site, please come see me about it. (write your Will out before you do.)
If you want to be as cool as Kefka is, You better start eating your l33ties. Thats not ordinary breakfast cereal motherfucker. That shit is loaded with more Silicone than Pamela Anderson at a plastics factory. Only those who are brave enough (Kefka) to eat FUCKING COMPUTER CHIPS and those who can endure an effect similar to that of chewing on a Heinekin bottle (Kefka) will be an inch closer to Kefkaism. You'll never actually be AS cool as Kefka, but you'll get not-so-close.
Oh, and he sharpens his jagged iron spoon after feedings, helps get the stuck-ass transistors out of the teeth.
You ever read the back of the box? It reads like a fucking college trigonometry book. Below I have captured a rare shot of the said "Nutrition Facts".
Eat up motherfuckers