And lo, it was fuckin' tasty.
Due to a recent streak of non-suckage, ive been a little dry lately. But in any case, Thats not what im here for today.
Im here to praise. the suckinator himself.
He has provided me with declicious consumables that have sated my hunger for stuff.
Unfortunatly, the blood of fallen angels is not a condiment at subway. :(
But, In light of that, The next time I walk in to a Subway that Kevin doesnt work at. Im going to order a Kevin Beard Special, And when the loser behind the counter asks me "What's that?" Im going grab him by the windpipe then backhand him in the teeth until they shoot out his ass. Then promptly inform him what a "Kevin Beard Special" is.
For security reasons, Kevin cannot disclose exactly what is in a Kevin Beard special, but I can assure you. Its made of dreams motherfucker. Pure. fucking. dreams.
Every bite I take makes me doubt the existance of god.
"Is there even a god that could make a creature that could make this!?"
I rue the day for the poor sap who doesnt seem to know what im talking about when I order a "Kevin Beard Special" Such a person will be educated through pain. Its a lesson they will not soon forget.
May the holy bacon be with you.
Get yourself a fucking KBS stat. You wont be sorry for long.