"So good, it'll make you wanna star in crappy martial arts B movies."



Thank god I dont have a credit card.
Cause if I did, I would probly max it out on cases and cases of this breakthrough formula in Energy drinks.

By the looks of the can, i'd say it makes you piss static electricity.

Fucking. Sweet.

But Fragfactory, what would you do with cases and cases of Steven Segal's Energy drink?

Oh i'll tell you what i'd do.

I would stand in the middle of the woods. Drink them one by one, and then just toss the can into the woods and keep doing it. If I do it enough times I think Steven Segal himself will helicopter in on a zip line to personally deliver me a prompt and stout ass-beating and thwart my environment-harming ways. I'll send like 20 waves of bad-guys at him and he'll incapacitate them with his terrible acting. They wont even touch him.

Then once he gets to me, he'll probly assault me with his dreaded Sqint Eyes +9 skill followed by a salvo of cheesy threats. At that point, i'll go down without much of a fight, I mean.. cmon. I kidnapped his daughter or something cause he use to work for the Secret Indian Reservation CIA that was doing secret Energy drink expieriments that nobody was supposed to know about so I kidnapped his daughter for ransom. Comming, Spring 2006, the blockbuster movie event of the year : "Strapped for Cash" Starring Steven Segal and Fragfactory.

See you at the dollar theater.

(Kevin, your in the first wave of bad guys & hes going to use his Ponytail to cut your flesh in 1000 different places, thats how much you suck.)